teh boy ~ warning a bit of a rant

[zestfive]

What am I going to do? He's driving me crazy. I know that I was lazy growing up but I mostly did my chores when I had to.

He on the other hand, requires multiple reminders and is often blatently disrespectful. He will go on the computer or tv even after I've told him no. The tv room has the digital tv and video games in there, the reason why I don't want him in there is (despite repeated requests) he changes the settings on the tv system. I've asked him to clean up the living room for at least a week. For some reason, he thinks he's done it but there is still stuff everywhere. 

Yesterday I stayed home because I wasn't feeling well, headache and queasy stomach. The boy did finally get working on stuff which was nice. He picked up and vacuumed his room and picked up the living room the night before. Finally, and so dinner was nice. Let's hope he can maintain this.

Comments

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

I know that really sucks! I think it is the fact that they really can not have that much information in their heads at one time. I honestly think he forgets. I think it got done the other day because you were there and were able to keep him more on track.

Why are you asking for all these things to get done? I think that might be confusing for him.

btw, PJ is 22 years old. Been there! Done that!

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

I would think he forgets except I often write a list and he still forgets. ARGH!!!

I'm only asking him to clean up after himself! ARGH!!

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

Teens are just like 2 year olds again.. one really should pick their battles wisely. Everything will seem like a battle. Some things are just better to be let go of... Or this time of his life will be the end of you. {{{ hugs }}} And there comes to a point in which asking for things to be done is not the answer. It is demanding things get done and firmly. Just like he was when he was 2 years old he is pushing his boundaries. And you had to let him know where they were. I really think about the teenage years are very similar to the toddler years just in a bigger proportion.

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think it helped that I took away all forms of entertainment including the radio! As he did finally get the living room cleaned up and he vacuumed his room. I gave him back his TV. I told him that I would think about the computer. He still doesn't have the ability to manage his time on it.

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

That is totally awesome! You have to make the rules and stick to them. Good for you!

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

yeah, I think it only worked because he wasn't being so defiant. I think he had talked to his Dad and made the decision to change his behavior. I'm not going to give him free reign again....but return his priveliges bit by bit.

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

Good idea. Teens can be such shits at times it is amazing that more parents are not in jail for manslaughter... *grins widely*

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

Isn't that the truth!

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

I am so glad that I did not give in and kill PJ. I would hate to be in jail for this...

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

yeah, because then I would have never met you on LJ! GRIN

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

I had thought that there were computers in prisons. Damn! then I am not going if I can not blog from prison! That is final... all my plans for years are kaput now. That was my life goal. *eye roll*

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

You know...I've had the same thoughts when I've felt my life was too crazy and hectic. How wonderful for someone else to come tell me what to do and etc. Then I'd have other time to sit and try and "rehabilitate" myself. I could get another degree and do a lot of reading.

Yeah I suppose the child rapers and the mother stabbers would be a little much though...

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

Oh... I had not thought of that aspect of prison life. I really was focusing on the show Bad Girls http://www.badgirls.co.uk/
That does not sound to bad at all. I guess it is different there... *sighs* I guess I can change my plans and not go to prison. Besides I would not be able to blog there at all. That does not sound like fun at all. *evil grin*

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

I haven't ever watched Bad Girls...is it good?

[tmboybutch.livejournal.com]

Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Teenagers can be such a challenge.

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

When does it change? ::::::::heavy sigh:::::::::

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

Sorry to say that PJ is just beinga decent human most all the time now. It lasted a good long time...

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

ARGH !!!

[janboys.livejournal.com]

If I remember right your son is about the same age as mine (15). If so...it is such a freaking teenage boy thing!

Mine was a very sweet well mannered little boy - then puberty and I am not appreciating it too much at all!

I have been told they start acting better oh about age 25? YIKES!

Hugs!

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

25?!?!? NOooooo....I can't wait that long!

Thanks for the support!

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

My son is 22 years old and he is just getting to be an good person whom I can relate to again. I think it had to do with him having his own place and needing to pay his own way in the world.

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

Are you suggesting that I kick him out? GRIN yeah, I know you're not...but perhaps kick him out to his Dad's for a little bit. I think this would help in two ways...for the boy to realize how good he has it and for the father to know what it's like to parent him for more than 2 days at a time.

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

Oh heck no! *grins* It all depends on your boundaries. If you can handle it, do so. Communication is important. Or attempts at communication is important. If you think that having him spend more time at his Dad's is the answer perhaps it is. But, chances are that it will just seem like a wonderful bachelor pad and it might backfire on you. He might have less rules there... And this then would be like a vacation from you and your rules. That is how it was like with PJs dad.

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

Actually in the last 6 weeks, his father and I have really increased our communication. He (his Dad) even supports my position. He(his Dad) reports having the same problems at his house. Woo Hoo, I'm not the only one!

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that is awesome! I think it is time that the boy spends the summer at Dad's. *grins*

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

That might be a really good idea. I wonder if his dad would go for it?

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

It seems that his Dad wants to support your role as a parent. Perhaps he wants to "play Dad" now. This would be the chance to really prove that. I do not think you should give the boy's father a choice in this matter. *grins*
This would be his chance to really be the Father than perhaps he has not been in the past....*snickers*

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

yeah, when I'm really frusturated, I feel the same way. Although, considering the childhood that his father had, he's really been a very stable father. He consistently pays child support and has taken him most of the time when he should (even if it's less than I think it should be)

[cluelessinchi.livejournal.com]

I guess that is a good thing... It would be an adventure to really get to know each other. Like going to camp or something... Also if he wanted to support you as a Mother and he would do this for you. (can you tell I was raised catholic... *grins* I got the guilt aspect down!)

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

LOL, unfortunately he wasn't raised catholic and thankfully, neither was I!

[exceptnot.livejournal.com]

i dunno what kind of messy you're dealing with.... but if we didn't pick up our stuff when told... then my mom would and we would never see it again.

if you need help with it i'm willing to help if i can.

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your support! Actually, last night was pretty good. When I got home, he was asleep but he did later join us watching a little TV and invited us to his birthday event with my Dad. (My Dad invited him to have a picnic at his land).

I sometimes wonder if my boy isn't a little depressed.

He just doesn't clean up after himself and it's not that I'm anal about things (believe me, I'm not anal!). When he makes mac and cheese he needs to throw away the packaging and put the dishes in the dishwasher (it's not that hard!)

I would love any suggestions you have!