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Jan. 14th, 2005 08:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zestfiveLast night AF had a band concert at school. He's quit practicing in front of me. I don't actually know if he does it or not anymore. I don't seem to see him move his trumpet from where he puts it when he comes home from school. He did very well as far as I could tell...it was fun to see the other kids that he knew while he attending cub scouts.
As I had just that morning had tea with MJ a friend of mine (who is also the mother of a young man about 4 years older than AF) we talked about how difficult AF's current school is...she believed the teachers, admin and etc believe it's a really difficult age and all the kids misbehave but get to High School and they expect then to act better...magically, they do!
So since the whole school thing was on my mind, I talked to AF about his experiences...sometimes I feel like he's so similiar to me with his life experiences but I worry that I'm projecting too much. He talked about the different clique's and how he feels like he's mostly identified as a nerd. I try to reassure him that despite how much this sucks, it's only temporary and speak about how life is different once you're older. I try to talk about how most of the "poplular" kids end up peaking when they are in high school or etc...everything else is down hill for them. He spoke of feeling really different that there's no one else like him...I can understand that..he's being raised by a single gay woman and has primarily been in the adult world versus the kid world(sorry, AF). We live in a largely republican area where intact families are more predominant. Even if I wasn't gay...our family is in the minority in this area.
He also brought up when he decided to not join the Boy Scouts, some kid said something like "I heard you mom is gay" to which he reports replying "yeah, so what? that doesn't matter". This kinda floors me...who gave him so much courage? This also raises the question, do I use my excuse of wanting to "protect" or provide privacy for AF as a huge closet? I don't know the answer for sure. All I can say is "wow", my kid is amazing!
As I had just that morning had tea with MJ a friend of mine (who is also the mother of a young man about 4 years older than AF) we talked about how difficult AF's current school is...she believed the teachers, admin and etc believe it's a really difficult age and all the kids misbehave but get to High School and they expect then to act better...magically, they do!
So since the whole school thing was on my mind, I talked to AF about his experiences...sometimes I feel like he's so similiar to me with his life experiences but I worry that I'm projecting too much. He talked about the different clique's and how he feels like he's mostly identified as a nerd. I try to reassure him that despite how much this sucks, it's only temporary and speak about how life is different once you're older. I try to talk about how most of the "poplular" kids end up peaking when they are in high school or etc...everything else is down hill for them. He spoke of feeling really different that there's no one else like him...I can understand that..he's being raised by a single gay woman and has primarily been in the adult world versus the kid world(sorry, AF). We live in a largely republican area where intact families are more predominant. Even if I wasn't gay...our family is in the minority in this area.
He also brought up when he decided to not join the Boy Scouts, some kid said something like "I heard you mom is gay" to which he reports replying "yeah, so what? that doesn't matter". This kinda floors me...who gave him so much courage? This also raises the question, do I use my excuse of wanting to "protect" or provide privacy for AF as a huge closet? I don't know the answer for sure. All I can say is "wow", my kid is amazing!
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Re: Yeah!
Date: 2005-01-17 04:54 pm (UTC)He also was able to recognize the 2nd night that he was too tired to participate in some of the activities (they had things scheduled except for midnight to 8am) and he likes to sleep. This in my opinion shows that he does a good job recognizing what he needs and asking for it. Pretty amazing.