Friday - Dad

Friday was a good day. I drove in to take my Dad to his Dr. appointments. He definately seemed more himself than he was when I first talked to him on the phone. He was happy that I offered to go hang out with him and be with him when he went to his two appointments on Friday. BUT...he didn't ask, I had just offered. I still haven't figured out the "rules" as far as who does more of the intiating him as the Dad or me as the daughter.

His first appointment was with the hematoligist who did some blood work and scheduled an appointment to do a bonemarow biopsy. Apparently this hurts like hell. I'm not looking forward to it for him at all. He's leaking some kind of protein that he should be. I'm not sure what it's all about. As they really don't know why he's having kidney problems, they have wondered that perhaps the weird proteins have ruined his kidneys, and not the diabetes.

Than we had lunch, my Dad has always held his cards pretty tight to his chest, he certainly will share things but I have always felt that it was things he was okay with, not the scary or vunerable stuff....hmm..sounds like someone else I know (okay, I admit, it's me). There were a few things that I learned during lunch that were "new" information to me.

First off, there are aprox 5 people who have offered to be tested for the possiblity of being a live kidney donor to him. He is amazed by this, he talks about how he doesn't understand why they would love him enough to want to give such a gift to him. Does my Dad have low self-esteem? I always knew that he was sensitive about his learning disabilities and the shame surrounding that, but apparently it goes farther.

2ndly he spoke about how much he really wanted to have children. I've always figured he loved us and etc, but to really want to have children was different for me. I didn't necessarily want to have A but when he came along, he blew me away with how much I did love him.

The last thing that came from our time at lunch was him talking about his feminine side. I've in the last few years really identified my Dad as a feminist, only recently realizing that because he is who I imprinted on...I thought he was "normal". Of course he is...to me. It's only more recently that I realize how amazing he is as a human being.

Second appointment was with Cardiovascular Dr who identified an extra beat in his heart. He will be getting this shocked to eliminate it. They will have to go up through a vein (or is it an artery?) and shock him to get rid of it.

And we returned to home where we found his partner. She had come home a little early as she had a bad cold. She has also had a very hard time through the last few months with her mother passing of what she fears my Dad is suffering with. She admits that she's suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder stuff as a result of dealing with the Drs. This leads her to be very pesimisstic about his health, tests and the Drs. She's afraid he might die when they try to shock to get rid of the extra beat. She talks about the proteins being lukemia and etc. This in my opinion does not help my Dad's attitude, in fact was quite the downer when I brought him home and we were still very happy about our time together despite the medical stuff.

I was so glad that I was able to be there for him, I explained that I would be happy to help on any Fridays. He did schedule another appointment on a future Friday so perhaps we'll get to do it again.

Friday night - Dinner with K

After picking up a free lazer printer, thanks craigslist.com !

I had dinner with K. We worked together at the University when I was doing my Practicum there. I really enjoy K because she is so different. She grew up in the South, real southern Belle. She's totally a femme in her insides, probably not so girly girl on the outside. I think she's very cute but definately high maint. Princess-type. Which I'm totally fine with, as long as I'm not dating you. And...we never will. She has a great laugh but I think she isolates herself too much. We were going to do dinner and a movie but ended up dinnering and talking and missing both early and late movie all together. We talked about everything under the sun, what she's looking for, what I'm looking for, her mom, my mom, ex-s, mutual library stuff and etc. She's also talking about getting a breast reduction, so I shared my experience with her.

Saturday

Today I worked at the library. M came in and I helped him with his homework. M is a very good looking guy from Morocco who I talk to all the time. He orginally came into the library many months ago with his wife(whom I don't remember) while they were researching used cars. I have talked to him about bringing his kids from Morocco to the US, then learning about his divorce, getting laid off, going back to school and etc (mind you this is in less than 2 years). Now that he's in school, he's taking an english class and as english isn't his first language, he needs a little help. This was fine, but I helped through my break. I hope he does well, it also does help me realize that I have learned stuff when I help him.

From work, I went to pick up a few things before I went home to get ready for the wedding. N is a woman that I dated very briefly about 5 years ago. I knew that she wasn't good for me, but she was so cute that I had to check it out. She is intense and there was drama but she also inspired me to go to grad school (I figured, if she could do it, *I* certainly could). She was a bit of a militant vegetarian among other strongly held opinions, I'm too easy going and laid back to deal with that. She was also pretty obsessive compulsive about cleaning and high strung all around. Anyways, when we broke up, I steered clear of her...but she always wanted to keep in touch so about a year ago we finally got together and she told me about how she was dating a man ! This was a shock but I figured..whatever. There's more to this but I'm too tired to talk about it.

Needless to say, my friend KE was my date for the event. A minister from my church officiated the service, it was nice. S-N's now husband is a wonderful man, I had never met him only saw pictures. I was amazed that even though I never met him, when I introduced myself to him, he knew who I was...he also knew my son's name. N did say that S is really a woman in a man's body, I found him to be very sweet, sincere and etc. When KE and I drove back and talked about the whole event, she felt that N didn't really seem to be the happy bride she should have been...oh well.

The other stuff that KE and I deconstructed included all the other lesbians that were sitting at the "G" table. (The seating arrangements were done by N and she sat all of the lesbians at one table, the tables were identified by letters -- is it a coincidence that we were at table "G" for gay? I think not, GRIN). As I knew before hand that K and I were going to be sat at a table with two other single lesbians...we were at the look out for them during the ceremony. I spotted them before K did...she wasn't sure, but I was..and yeah, I was right. What's wrong with K's gaydar? Oh, yeah and the Maid of Honor was N's childhood friend (they also dated briefly for about 3 months too) A had been married to a man when I first met her but is now with C(woman). Later a couple of other lesbians also showed up. KE flirted like she does outrageously with M. M was cute but I got to know her and totally didn't like her...she was such a princess. No thanks ! It seemed that the central MN lesbian community is quite incestuous...everyone having slept with almost everyone. It sure makes me feel old because I'm so NOT into that kind of drama.

Maid of honor A and her parnter C, they have 2 kids together. A has her son age 10 and C has a daughter age 14. C apparently has been violent to A according to N. C keeps a pretty tight rein on her daughter for example, doesn't let her go outside without an adult but yet acknowledges that she smokes and I couldn't help but notice through her very sheer clothing that she was wearing a G-string. Again, this affirms that I'm old !

Other odd thing, after the ceremony was over and we were all walking out, I noticed C and figured she was probably A's partner who I had heard about. KE noticed that C was checking me out. As I'm such a dork, if I feel someone is checking me out, I get nervous, and usually act like I'm not noticing. KE was pretty insistent that she was really giving me the once over, I caught it once but didn't keep looking like KE did and said that she was really looking hard. Anyways, when I learned that she was A's partner, I let it go. I totally don't go getting between some couple, that just isn't cool, there's really no reason to do that...totally disrespectful. I didn't really talk to C during the whole dinner/reception thing but at the end, when we were saying goodbyes, C wanted my contact information...I thought this was odd. We really didn't talk, I really don't know her or any of the women...I'm not sure of her motives.

It just affirms that I like most people from a distance, up close you get to see all the baggage that people carry. It's rare that I meet a woman that I'm attracted to, appears to have her sh#t together(emotionally, and etc) and is interested in me. Most days, I'm really okay in continuing to wait for her to come along....other days, I feel more susceptible to falling into a less than ideal relationship. Tonight, I was really okay with waiting. Can you say crazy drama queens? sure you can !

I'm so tired, tomorrow will come too fast, my plan is to play catch up. Spring break is over for A and he's got to get back in the grove for school. Of course, I will be going to J's for the L word. Did I tell you we had breakfast on Friday morning before I went to my Dad's?