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zestfiveToday I worked at the library. M came in and I helped him with his homework. M is a very good looking guy from Morocco who I talk to all the time. He orginally came into the library many months ago with his wife(whom I don't remember) while they were researching used cars. I have talked to him about bringing his kids from Morocco to the US, then learning about his divorce, getting laid off, going back to school and etc (mind you this is in less than 2 years). Now that he's in school, he's taking an english class and as english isn't his first language, he needs a little help. This was fine, but I helped through my break. I hope he does well, it also does help me realize that I have learned stuff when I help him.
From work, I went to pick up a few things before I went home to get ready for the wedding. N is a woman that I dated very briefly about 5 years ago. I knew that she wasn't good for me, but she was so cute that I had to check it out. She is intense and there was drama but she also inspired me to go to grad school (I figured, if she could do it, *I* certainly could). She was a bit of a militant vegetarian among other strongly held opinions, I'm too easy going and laid back to deal with that. She was also pretty obsessive compulsive about cleaning and high strung all around. Anyways, when we broke up, I steered clear of her...but she always wanted to keep in touch so about a year ago we finally got together and she told me about how she was dating a man ! This was a shock but I figured..whatever. There's more to this but I'm too tired to talk about it.
Needless to say, my friend KE was my date for the event. A minister from my church officiated the service, it was nice. S-N's now husband is a wonderful man, I had never met him only saw pictures. I was amazed that even though I never met him, when I introduced myself to him, he knew who I was...he also knew my son's name. N did say that S is really a woman in a man's body, I found him to be very sweet, sincere and etc. When KE and I drove back and talked about the whole event, she felt that N didn't really seem to be the happy bride she should have been...oh well.
The other stuff that KE and I deconstructed included all the other lesbians that were sitting at the "G" table. (The seating arrangements were done by N and she sat all of the lesbians at one table, the tables were identified by letters -- is it a coincidence that we were at table "G" for gay? I think not, GRIN). As I knew before hand that K and I were going to be sat at a table with two other single lesbians...we were at the look out for them during the ceremony. I spotted them before K did...she wasn't sure, but I was..and yeah, I was right. What's wrong with K's gaydar? Oh, yeah and the Maid of Honor was N's childhood friend (they also dated briefly for about 3 months too) A had been married to a man when I first met her but is now with C(woman). Later a couple of other lesbians also showed up. KE flirted like she does outrageously with M. M was cute but I got to know her and totally didn't like her...she was such a princess. No thanks ! It seemed that the central MN lesbian community is quite incestuous...everyone having slept with almost everyone. It sure makes me feel old because I'm so NOT into that kind of drama.
Maid of honor A and her parnter C, they have 2 kids together. A has her son age 10 and C has a daughter age 14. C apparently has been violent to A according to N. C keeps a pretty tight rein on her daughter for example, doesn't let her go outside without an adult but yet acknowledges that she smokes and I couldn't help but notice through her very sheer clothing that she was wearing a G-string. Again, this affirms that I'm old !
Other odd thing, after the ceremony was over and we were all walking out, I noticed C and figured she was probably A's partner who I had heard about. KE noticed that C was checking me out. As I'm such a dork, if I feel someone is checking me out, I get nervous, and usually act like I'm not noticing. KE was pretty insistent that she was really giving me the once over, I caught it once but didn't keep looking like KE did and said that she was really looking hard. Anyways, when I learned that she was A's partner, I let it go. I totally don't go getting between some couple, that just isn't cool, there's really no reason to do that...totally disrespectful. I didn't really talk to C during the whole dinner/reception thing but at the end, when we were saying goodbyes, C wanted my contact information...I thought this was odd. We really didn't talk, I really don't know her or any of the women...I'm not sure of her motives.
It just affirms that I like most people from a distance, up close you get to see all the baggage that people carry. It's rare that I meet a woman that I'm attracted to, appears to have her sh#t together(emotionally, and etc) and is interested in me. Most days, I'm really okay in continuing to wait for her to come along....other days, I feel more susceptible to falling into a less than ideal relationship. Tonight, I was really okay with waiting. Can you say crazy drama queens? sure you can !
I'm so tired, tomorrow will come too fast, my plan is to play catch up. Spring break is over for A and he's got to get back in the grove for school. Of course, I will be going to J's for the L word. Did I tell you we had breakfast on Friday morning before I went to my Dad's?
From work, I went to pick up a few things before I went home to get ready for the wedding. N is a woman that I dated very briefly about 5 years ago. I knew that she wasn't good for me, but she was so cute that I had to check it out. She is intense and there was drama but she also inspired me to go to grad school (I figured, if she could do it, *I* certainly could). She was a bit of a militant vegetarian among other strongly held opinions, I'm too easy going and laid back to deal with that. She was also pretty obsessive compulsive about cleaning and high strung all around. Anyways, when we broke up, I steered clear of her...but she always wanted to keep in touch so about a year ago we finally got together and she told me about how she was dating a man ! This was a shock but I figured..whatever. There's more to this but I'm too tired to talk about it.
Needless to say, my friend KE was my date for the event. A minister from my church officiated the service, it was nice. S-N's now husband is a wonderful man, I had never met him only saw pictures. I was amazed that even though I never met him, when I introduced myself to him, he knew who I was...he also knew my son's name. N did say that S is really a woman in a man's body, I found him to be very sweet, sincere and etc. When KE and I drove back and talked about the whole event, she felt that N didn't really seem to be the happy bride she should have been...oh well.
The other stuff that KE and I deconstructed included all the other lesbians that were sitting at the "G" table. (The seating arrangements were done by N and she sat all of the lesbians at one table, the tables were identified by letters -- is it a coincidence that we were at table "G" for gay? I think not, GRIN). As I knew before hand that K and I were going to be sat at a table with two other single lesbians...we were at the look out for them during the ceremony. I spotted them before K did...she wasn't sure, but I was..and yeah, I was right. What's wrong with K's gaydar? Oh, yeah and the Maid of Honor was N's childhood friend (they also dated briefly for about 3 months too) A had been married to a man when I first met her but is now with C(woman). Later a couple of other lesbians also showed up. KE flirted like she does outrageously with M. M was cute but I got to know her and totally didn't like her...she was such a princess. No thanks ! It seemed that the central MN lesbian community is quite incestuous...everyone having slept with almost everyone. It sure makes me feel old because I'm so NOT into that kind of drama.
Maid of honor A and her parnter C, they have 2 kids together. A has her son age 10 and C has a daughter age 14. C apparently has been violent to A according to N. C keeps a pretty tight rein on her daughter for example, doesn't let her go outside without an adult but yet acknowledges that she smokes and I couldn't help but notice through her very sheer clothing that she was wearing a G-string. Again, this affirms that I'm old !
Other odd thing, after the ceremony was over and we were all walking out, I noticed C and figured she was probably A's partner who I had heard about. KE noticed that C was checking me out. As I'm such a dork, if I feel someone is checking me out, I get nervous, and usually act like I'm not noticing. KE was pretty insistent that she was really giving me the once over, I caught it once but didn't keep looking like KE did and said that she was really looking hard. Anyways, when I learned that she was A's partner, I let it go. I totally don't go getting between some couple, that just isn't cool, there's really no reason to do that...totally disrespectful. I didn't really talk to C during the whole dinner/reception thing but at the end, when we were saying goodbyes, C wanted my contact information...I thought this was odd. We really didn't talk, I really don't know her or any of the women...I'm not sure of her motives.
It just affirms that I like most people from a distance, up close you get to see all the baggage that people carry. It's rare that I meet a woman that I'm attracted to, appears to have her sh#t together(emotionally, and etc) and is interested in me. Most days, I'm really okay in continuing to wait for her to come along....other days, I feel more susceptible to falling into a less than ideal relationship. Tonight, I was really okay with waiting. Can you say crazy drama queens? sure you can !
I'm so tired, tomorrow will come too fast, my plan is to play catch up. Spring break is over for A and he's got to get back in the grove for school. Of course, I will be going to J's for the L word. Did I tell you we had breakfast on Friday morning before I went to my Dad's?
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-27 11:18 pm (UTC)I can't wait until I feel okay waiting for whomever is coming into my life next. Right now I just wish I had patience.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-28 12:53 am (UTC)Yeah, it's tough. I'm so glad that some how I was blessed or developed patience. Of course, am I really okay with it, or am I scared sh*tless about it? Avoidance is a good tactic, isn't it?
I'm also glad that I am getting out more than I have in the past, but I'm still pretty selective of whom I mark as a true friend versus just someone I talk to. As I'm an onion(with many layers) I've got lots of layers of friends too. I've also have dear friends whom I only have contact with about 3 times a year despite the fact they live within 10 miles!
Life is an adventure, take the ride !! Know that everything is only temporary and it's about the joy!