ARGH

[zestfive]

I got a letter back from the job I interviewed at, I also got another letter from another place that I applied for. I'm getting discouraged, I feel like I'm going to be working part time and temp for the rest of my frickin' life. When I get like this, I feel slightly self destructive and start thinking more basely...like wishing I had some kind of distraction, like a friend with benefits. The problem with that, one person whom I don't think would mind, is not someone I'm wanting to sleep with..and I wouldn't want to hurt her or take advantage of her. The other problem is that I don't think I'd stay in that place where I'm thinking that way, I'd eventually come to and feel bad about how I behaved or worse yet, start thinking that it could turn into something more...which isn't right, because I'd be a little less discriminating in my choices. What do other people do when they are like this? Is this where people get drunk and do things they regret? Perhaps I should drink? I don't know that there's anything that I would really like enough to get really drunk on... And then their is safety issues with being drunk. It's so hard when I have these conversations with myself, where I'm thinking in my best person(and rational) and arguing with my base person(who doesn't give a damn).

Comments

[grltalk.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about the jobs. I count my job blessings every day. I know that I am a very lucky, well-paid, very under-educated girl!

The worse I feel, the more of a hermit I become. The more I withdraw, the more I think. Drinking is more about avoiding thinking, for me. I seldom do it though because it doesn't agree with my aged body! I don't get to sleep in or ignore demanding offspring the next morning, so it's rarely worth it.

[zestfive.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I recognize the isolation thing too. I don't think I'd really get drunk anyways...