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[personal profile] zestfive
This is my weekend

Friday night, I was making dinner and once it was finally done, I called up the family. The boy plays computer games in the basement and because I turned off the heat, he was wearing his new birthday sleeping bag. After he gets to the kitchen, he drops said sleeping bag on the floor. I asked him to get it out of the middle of the kitchen and we proceed to have a huge argument. He talks about how I need to ask him nicely instead of demand him to do something and starts trying to argue everywhichway from Wednesday about it. I didn't want to deal with it and finally said that if he didn't take care of it, he'd be grounded from "screens" for 2 weeks. He balked at this and I eventually took the sleeping bag and put it in his room. He wasn't happy at all about this and eventually he went to his room and I went to mine where I fell asleep from about 8pm until 2am when P came and woke me up. We were hoping to have a fire in the fire bowl. I was still game but she thought it was too late. We stayed up for a little bit longer and then went to sleep.

Saturday I get up about 10am and the boy is in the living room making a mess and listening to the radio. I have a little breakfast and start organizing my day. I made a list of things for the boy to do that he could probably finish in 1 hour. P was still sleeping, she hasn't been sleeping well. I made a list including errands to run. I talked to the boy and he continued to balk, he wasn't going to do anything on my list because of how I treated him last night. This continued to escalate and I sent him to his room but took things that would keep him entertained in there like his DD books and radio. I was so frusturated but knew that I need to take a break from him. Normally he would be at his Dad's but because of my mom's birthday, I kept him this weekend. I left to run the errands and when I came back, I woke up P. She kept trying to get me to go to him and talk to him. I was still pissed, he's trying to gain the upper hand and even if he is taller than him, I'm still the mom. We were going to my mom's, he didn't want to go, I offered him a deal that if he did everything on his list immediately, I'd take an week off of his 2 week grounding. I left the offer on the table for about 20 minutes and then took it off when he didn't want it. Apparently he talked to my sister who convinced him to go with us to my mothers (he did and was fine) .  We got home after midnight.

Sunday P and I get up for church, P hadn't slept all night, more insomnia for her. She suggests a stop for breakfast, splitting a ham and cheese omlett with pancakes (YUM). The boy doesn't want to go to church. We go to church and even get there early enough to sit in the pew versus the overflow chairs. The pew doesn't work so well for surgery recovering P who leaves half way through. We were suppose to have birthday lunch with T but she lets us reschedule. good, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go anyways. We go to P's house and pick up a few more things. Home for P to try and nap before going to BBQ at J and B's house. I had asked the boy if he wanted to go and again he choose not to even though there would be other kids there. It was fun because J's brothers have paintball. The boy has been wanting one of these, I'm not so sure I want him to have one. I did have to call and put him on speaker phone so he could hear the paintball gun going off to make him wish he choose another option than staying home. Both P and I got to shoot the paintball gun, now she wants one too. We'll see...  I think that we might be able to get the boy to come out sometime to try the paintball guns in the woods with J's brothers....except not next weekend! (we're planning on going to B's Dad's cabin next weekend~woot!)

Sunday night after we got home, had a really nice time talking with P, she's just pretty amazing, but I'm a little sleepy today. We talked about our families and growing up. Neither of us had the best experience in school for some similar and different reasons, both have a tendency to feel like we don't fit in.

P told me her son might have met someone, I still hope we can take him to church sometime. I hope that all goes well for him. I know P worries that he might get hurt. I worry for him too but also know that we all run the risk of getting hurt in anything we do.

Date: 2006-04-24 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cluelessinchi.livejournal.com
How old is he? he sounds like my son at different ages. LOL PJ is now 21 years old. And a decent person. I did not let his bull-headed stuff push me around.
My sister on the other hand has having so many issues that it really is too many to list. She discussed every thing?!? even with a 5 year old. both the boys were diagnosed with ADDHD and ODD. The last one is so bogus it is not even funny! My Mom called it "the brat syndrome". LOL That is how come she has one kid that had to go to a Sunday "brat" camp/boot camp. Court mandated.
Also is having weekly drug tests. The older one just decided to come home after not liking the family rules and decided that living there was too hard so he decided to stay at friends houses. He wore out his welcome at all of them so he decided to come back.

I am sending healing energy for P.
I hope that she is feeling better soon!

Date: 2006-04-24 05:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zestfive.livejournal.com
He just turned 14. Generally, he's a good kid. I know that I was probably just like that as a kid. I think he will turn out okay but it's sure frusturating right now. He's too smart and mature for his own good.

Thanks for P's energy, she coincidentally goes by the same name as your son! GRIN

*Been there Done that!*

Date: 2006-04-24 05:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cluelessinchi.livejournal.com
Kewl, about the name thing. Awesome!
Yeah, the age 14 was a hard one. It is just the age not the kid. I am so glad you know that. LOL I totally know what you are saying.

Re: *Been there Done that!*

Date: 2006-04-24 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zestfive.livejournal.com
Any tips? Or is time passing the only saving grace?

Re: *Been there Done that!*

Date: 2006-04-24 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cluelessinchi.livejournal.com
Try to save your own sanity. LOL
Take more breaks from him.
Laugh at things.
Don't let him boss you around, you are shaping his future.
The more shit he gets away with the more he is going to try to get away with. He has developed logical thought that also means he will become more devious. Obtw, this is more of the beginning stages. It will continue to get worse until he is 18 or so.. PJ is in his own apartment. He his finally on the other side of this. Hopefully your son will see the reality of things sooner!
Encourage him in a sport or club. something...

Re: *Been there Done that!*

Date: 2006-04-25 02:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zestfive.livejournal.com
Thanks, unfortunately he's not so much into sports or clubs. Luckily he's started playing Dungeons and Dragons with a neighborhood family, I like this idea. The mother is the dungeonmaster.

Re: *Been there Done that!*

Date: 2006-04-25 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cluelessinchi.livejournal.com
Kewl, PJ got into the sci-fi club and the internet club. he is still friends with those kids. It just gave him a focus ya know? The hs around here is quite big and is very good! So yes, he played D&D as well as other rpg's.

Re: *Been there Done that!*

Date: 2006-04-25 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zestfive.livejournal.com
yeah, it's not so big here. He's more of an introvert too. He doesn't start hs until next year, maybe things might change.

Date: 2006-04-24 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stagger-lee77.livejournal.com
i was a horrible 14 year old... and i'm not that good of an adult now. it will pass, at least, i hope it does.

Date: 2006-04-25 02:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zestfive.livejournal.com
I always say that I was the worst kid in my family (of three) but if you put me in with the "bad" kids, I'm the most innocent. GRIN

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