Yeah, I can relate to this as well. I didn't feel a part of my family growing up, like I wasn't wanted..didn't fit in and in fact got left behind once. They didn't realize I wasn't with them when they went for a walk...and of course it's now a "funny" family story.
When I decided to stay home with my son when he was a baby, I really felt that I had to take care of everything else (besides earning a wage), I felt it was my due since I was staying home. I also grew resentful and I know that impacted my marriage. I didn't ask for help and he didn't give it. After I started working some, he wouldn't even start the oven and throw something in for me when I was too exhausted to do it. It was his night for going out and he couldn't take the 5 minutes of effort. This was the start of a really bad scene between us, a scene that I acted very poorly and have great shame about.
ugh, I didn't realize how this all could factor into my issues. Thank you for the conversation about this...I don't always think that I know what how things have come to be or what my triggers are.
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Date: 2005-11-16 12:42 am (UTC)When I decided to stay home with my son when he was a baby, I really felt that I had to take care of everything else (besides earning a wage), I felt it was my due since I was staying home. I also grew resentful and I know that impacted my marriage. I didn't ask for help and he didn't give it. After I started working some, he wouldn't even start the oven and throw something in for me when I was too exhausted to do it. It was his night for going out and he couldn't take the 5 minutes of effort. This was the start of a really bad scene between us, a scene that I acted very poorly and have great shame about.
ugh, I didn't realize how this all could factor into my issues. Thank you for the conversation about this...I don't always think that I know what how things have come to be or what my triggers are.