This was from one of the instructors who's class I was invited to talk about libraries. It also included hot chocolate packets. The next day she gave me another surprise bad with tea in it. It's so very lovely. She also gave me lots of positive feedback about how engaged the students were with what I had to say. I loved it!
Last week I met up with mplsindygirl for dinner at The Vegetarian. It was really very lovely. I know sometimes I don't always like to go out before or afterwork when the weather is as it is....it's the homebody in me, work and then go home. I had a really lovely time. The restaurant was great, not too busy but it should! The food was great and we shared our meals and desserts too! If you're in the area and like vegan/vegetarian food you should check it out!
This weekend P and I went to her cousin's house to attend a family birthday and Sunday was our couples group. That was pretty much it, P doesn't have the energy to do much of anything these days and I'm okay with that. Next weekend we have a work friend's birthday party and Sunday she's gonna get together with our friends to do craft day. She really needs to take some time off of work and catch up on her life. At our couples' group we talked about finance and etc. We had some good conversations about taking our relationship to the next level financially wise anyways. I do have some concern since I feel a little vunerable about that but changing a bene on my life insurance isn't too bad. Teh boy would still be listed there for 75% of my life insurance.
One of these weekends soon we're going to go to the Art Shanty project with my Dad's partner and likely my sister, hopefully my son. My Dad would have loved it. Anyone who is familiar with this have any tips for us? Do we have to dress like we'll be outdoors the entire time?
Today is the first day of classes for the new semester. My second semester here. The other librarian is sick today. I've take one sick day so far and he's taken like um...4-5. He believes that they are like vacation days since we don't get them. I think I'll wait until I'm no longer a probationary employee to be so liberal with that.
My son had his open house for school. He starts next Tuesday.
We also went over to his Dad's house. He's moving from a one bedroom to a studio apartment. He has to downsize but doesn't really know how to do it besides throwing things away. We ended up picking through the stuff. Teh boy wants to try and sell stuff to make some money. There's some decent stuff there, two wooden stools, telephone, aquarium and etc. Teh boy already sold a fish net to the neighbor. We're going to keep a couple of things too like the blow up aerobed and etc.
I'm thinking I might try to go to ACRL in March. We can apply for professional development funds and I think it would benefit the library. It's also in Seattle which would be fun. I bet I could do it without much out of pocket.
Okay, I'm gonna go to bed now.
Tomorrow is my little sister's birthday.
Yikes, I can't believe it. My new job starts today. I think with Pride and everything happening, the time just got away from me. My cousin and sister worked on the cabin this last week, they got the drywall done. We also got the deadbolts working on the doors. I think steps have been made. My Dad's partner was out there too, she spoke of how it was difficult because she knows it's better than he could have ever of imagined. :::weep::: My sisters, my Dad's partner and I have to get together to figure out the next steps for finishing the cabin. My sister has started to take on that and I'm SO grateful. It's just very overwhelming for me with the cabin. I want to do it perfect but I have never built anything before. At least she's much more familiar with the building process having been an executive director for Habitat for Humanity for over 5 years.
I was talking to my friend R, she's back from Pittsburgh for 2 weeks, I hope I get to see her. She was talking about how she wanted to do a healing deal. She read about digging a hole and yelling into the earth but she felt strange about putting her pain into the earth. I immediately said that the earth is a mother and has always absorbed the pain and suffering of her children it's part of the way she cares for us. I really don't know where that came from, just came right out of my mouth. She said it brought tears to her eyes and to be honest, it brought them to me too. I don't know where that came from!
Yesterday I picked up the home movies that we had transfered to DVD. I watch 2 hours of them last night. They are out of chronilogical order but it was good to see. Poor P, I put her through watching all of that too.
Awww...got to go to work, see ya!
I did pay this month's bills and shred ded two bags worth of old bills, credit card statements and etc. I went through more of my Dad's estate stuff and I only need one more value before I can submit the inventory. I can't wait until this crap is done. I've been looking for a big box of file folders that I had but unfortunately, I can't find them. I HATE when I can't find things.
I've got to get more done. I've got a list going but it's hard for me to stay on track because it's all overwhelming. I need to assemble the grill that I bought and FINALLY got replacement parts for but it's too buggy in the evening. I wasn't feeling good enough in the morning. I also want to install the closet organizer that I bought. It's too big so I will need to cut it down to size with a hack saw. It also requires me to pay close attention to detail and right now I'm not so good at that.
Did ya notice that I tend to post and respond in spurts, at least lately. I can tell you, if I'm at home and not with P, I am reading but I guess I'm just feeling a little hibernative. I usually do that when I'm dealing with emotional stuff. I've got to get better at sharing that with P.
I'm thinking Monday, I might bring donuts in for lots of folks. To say thanks for everything...
I was thinking about buying a costco membership but then I figured we'd just eat more than we already do and I'm trying not to do that. I must say that I'm pretty happy that since the begining of the year, I've limited the going out to eat more than I usually do. This makes me happy.
There's slow but sure movement for my bathroom downstairs. When that's close to being done, they'll move upstairs and I'll have to figure out what I'm going to be doing with the upstairs.
10 more weeks until I'm done working (and we leave for Disneyworld).
I'm realizing that I'm all over the place right now with what I'm trying to accomplish at work so I really should close this brief post and focus.
We even went to the early service at church. My Dad's partner was there, it was good to see her. One of the musicians was a young man who my son knew at one time, he's phenomenally talented and my Dad would have loved to hear him play.
I'm really tired today and can't wait until I make it home. I hope to sleep in tomorrow. I've got a headache right now and just took something. I'm listening to the last Harry Potter book on tape.
The weather is so dreary which kinda matches my mood and I don't want to be here.
I got the new lawnmower working. I also finally "fixed" the burnt-out headlight in the red car, turns out the bulb just fell out of the headlight. I just need to clean it out and change the oil for the boy to start practicing driving again. I also want to fix the "stuck" door.
Okay, I better go start working on the ST-200 work. The appointment with him is in 5 minutes.
P got me a new phone. I'm very excited. Except the webservice wasn't working so I'm patiently waiting for sprint to figure it out. She did this in anticipation of our 2 years coming up in about a month. I suppose I could say that I got her this in celebration. Really, I just saw it in the store and new she'd LOVE it.
This weekend was our couple's group but too many people were too busy. I would have enjoyed it but it's okay too. We'll probably go out to the land on Saturday with my Dad's partner. Perhaps we'll rake the recently leveled ground and pull out rocks before we spread some grass seed hoping for grass next spring.
Sunday I might make it to church, I've been missing it. I've also been missing a couple of elderly people who attended until he suffered from alzheimers, she has no sense of direction and nor can she leave him alone now. They've moved from an apartment to assisted living recently. So, I just called their and got put through...I'm talking to her now. Yippee!
I'll post for now.
I'm back to work, started yesterday. They're still trying to figure out where to put me and what my schedule will be. I still don't have keys or a computer but apparently I've got a phone. I'll be working Tuesdays and Thursdays through the rest of summer session with 4 hours on the desk each day. Starting fall semester, I'll be full time and may be working in reference, serials and/or interlibrary loan. I'm happy to be doing different things and learning more stuff. I've been a bit bored but I'm also a bit nervous about the serials as I don't know a whole lot about it and the guy that would handle that tends to keep everything to himself and I want to learn and do a good job.
Driving home, I was so tired and felt really discouraged and just didn't want to work. I didn't want to commute an hour each way and I felt frusturated that I scrape by and drive cheap old cars when it seems that everyone I know is driving these big brand new SUVs around. I want someone to take care of me, buy me a car, and etc. I don't want to be the sole income earner in my household. It's weighing heavy on my shoulders right now.
I went home put in a pizza and shared it with A. Afterwards, I decided that I wasn't going to worry about laundry and should go to sleep, I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, it was 7:30 or so. I knew that I needed sleep, my perspective is always off when I don't get good sleep. I woke up somewhere around 2:30, realized the boy didn't feed the cats nor empty the dishwasher like he said he would. I fed the cats, ate a little something, read my email, did a little laundry and went back to bed. Of course, I didn't sleep well and sure didn't want to wake up when my alarm did go off. I had a headache when I woke up, took some aspirin. The headache went away but now it's back again, took more aspirin....go away headache!
So, having gotten some sleep, you'd think I'd feel better than I really do. I still want someone else to take care of me, I want to be someone who doesn't *have to* work. I want to have my biggest problem be what I'm going to cook for dinner. You'd also think I wouldn't feel like this after returning from a nice two week vacation.
Of course, really I should be happy, I've got employment for another year, after that I've got some savings to support us for another year if need be, after that, A is a senior and I'm sure something will happen by then. I should be able to save enough money to take P on a trip for her 50th birthday next year. I don't have any debt other than my mortgage and small student loan of less than $3k.
So I was thinking about Yvonne whom I met at Turtle Island, she's been there for the last 5 years, working as a intern, receiving room and board with a small stipend. She lives/works there and travels home a few time every so often. I can't imagine she has great health insurance, retirement or savings. She was happy where she was at and didn't really know what she might do after that. I don't that I know how to live without having some kind of goal to achieve or something to work forward to or waiting for xxxxx. I think I do need to figure out how to live in the moment and not so much in the future because otherwise, I don't appreciate what is, only what could be. I think part of it is because I would probably live very different if it wasn't for wanting to provide stability for A. I don't resent it, it is my choice after all, I don't want to rush it, because after its done, he'll be gone.
I want to be able to live on less but enjoy life more.
We're home! (At the city house at least) We were going to go to the country house tomorrow but P has to go to the sleep institute to have her cpap machine serviced. She's got an appointment at 11am and then we're going to get her passport applied for and then back to the country house.
Monday night In Buffalo, we stayed at a nice hotel and ate BBQ and drove around the town. I swear that the internet thought I was the devil, I sure felt cursed. We did make it to Niagara Falls, stopped briefly and looked. We were going to do the Maid of the Mist boat ride but realized that we'd probably miss the canal ride that we had planned. The Erie Canal ride was nice and then we decided to go to Cleveland on our way home.
On Tuesday, we didn't get there until after 9pm and it's located very near to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame which we did consider attending but for $20/each for just a couple of hours, probably not worth it. We had wonderful chinese delivered to our room and then fell asleep. The room despite being at the Holiday Inn "Select" wasn't very clean. It had dorito crumbs by the bedstand. We had considered driving all the way home but 12+ hours is a bit much so we decided to stay in Madison.
Wednesday night we made it (thanks to the time change) to Madison near 9pm. This was at the Ramada and it was probably the best motel yet. We went swimming/whirpool-ing as it was open until midnight! We went to sleep on the select comfort beds that were made up very nicely. When we woke up, we had a wonderful hot buffet breakfast, eggs, bacon/sausage, american fries, fresh fruit, pastries, cereal, toast, bagels, juice, coffee or milk. P decided to get the oil changed on her car and we stopped at a few thrift shops (my kind of shopping!) and then had goulash soup at The Weary Traveler before we hit the road.
I think had we had more time, I would have liked to explore Madison some more (perhaps a weekend trip?) I think we'd also like to explore DC more and more of the Harpers Ferry area. I would have liked to go geocaching more but it didn't fit in. You could also tell that P really needed her cpap as she needed more sleep and naps but still felt tired.
I did call the boy's father to see if he'd switch weekends with me(he won't) because next weekend I had hoped to go to Heyward with friends but it appears that we either won't go or will have the boy along. I hope we can work something out. When I get home tomorrow the boy will probably be there and his Dad will be picking him up on Saturday morning near 1pm. The boy indicated that he will be mowing the lawn on Saturday. P and I plan to do some cleaning. I hope to do more after she leaves for work on Sunday night. I'll have the next few weeks free.
Oh, another thing, I did get asked to work for another academic year at work. This is good because it will carry the boy through 10th grade, I'll have savings for 11th grade and who knows what happens after that. It occured to me that I should just save all the money I can and perhaps it would carry me through his senior year but I'd rather save it to celebrate P's 50th birthday next year with a really great trip like australia, alaskan cruise or she'd also like to do an all inclusive disney trip with cruise. Who knows.... life is an adventure.
Another great vacation has come to an end and since P doesn't sleep well, she tosses and turns, I end up awake more than usual....so I'm tired. G'night
Today I slept in a little and emptied the dish washer, filled it almost back up, took a nice shower, watched some baby shows on lifetime TV. Had some coffee and toast for breakfast and have essentially laid around the house. I think it's kinda nice that it's just me. I love the cool sunny spring days right now much more than hot.
I'm hopefully going to go see my friend R today whom I haven't seen in ages. I'm looking forward to it but it might be a bit awkward since it's been so long....we seem to be going in different directions. I'm sure it will be fine though.
I'll be going to work later with P, she's getting some great overtime. I'll read, play on the computer or perhaps sleep. I really should be going to pack for that.
There's so much to do (as usual) but I think I'm enjoying doing "...not a whole heck of a lot"
I've got my annual review for work completed. I hate writing those things! Picked up some dinner on the way home and now we're relaxing in the TV room. We're watching HGTV, we love that channel. I also just got my book on Biloxi that I ordered. Looking at the book made me cry. I'm such a baby sometimes.
P's having her hours at work change, she'll be working graveyard hours now. These were the hours she was working when I first met her. She's okay with it. I'm a little worried but I think it's only because my ex-husband couldn't handle those hours (of course, he couldn't handle much....always in a tizzy).
This weekend, we're going to lay low mostly. The boy is home this weekend and next weekend is spring break for him. We need to get some more cleaning done...the bedroom is a MESS. Looks like we're going to be going to the new queer night club that opened in Feb. And as long as we don't stay out too late...church on Sunday. nap for P before she goes to work. I miss her already.
It's very quiet at work. Normally I'm not on the desk today, but me and two others are splitting it up. One of my coworkers, the one that was going to cover my late shift yesterday fell and broke her elbow. Yikes!
Yesterday, one of the things I did was find this website http://www.dodtracker.com/
With that, I picked up 5 pairs of merino wool socks. If you're familiar with smartwool socks, that's the wool they use. It's wonderful! I got them for $6.93 and they are normally $16.50. Woot! Oooo...they've got insoles on clearance at REI now....hmmm.
anyways, back to work!
The boy has been a pain in the butt. He didn't tell me he wasn't going to be home last Thursday after school because they had practice for his performance. I told him he was going to get a consequence and gave him the chance to come up with one for himself. He didn't and he also disputed the issue of having a consequence. First his excuse was that he *had* told me which wasn't true (he told me about Wednesday not Thursday) then he said he *forgot* but I told him that doesn't excuse him from consequences. As I'm so tired of dealing with consequences with him, I didn't know what to do. If you remember the debacle of him cleaning his room this weekend, he thought that was part of his consequences (ahh...no, normal responsiblities kiddo!) I also took his computer and decided that on Monday he was grounded (after he asked to go to his friend's house). He took it upon himself to leave to his friend's house even though I told him he was grounded. I told him that if he wasn't going to follow my rules, he could live somewhere else. (this was on the phone talking to him while he was at his friend's house). He said he needed time to think and etc. when he said he wasn't going to come home, I told him that I was going to pick him up. P had a dr appt which I was taking her to and he proved himself untrustworthy and was going to come with us. I went and picked him up and took him with. I don't think he liked it too much but what can you do? Surprisingly he wasn't *that* bad. We ended up doing a bunch of errands and got home very late because the car broke down.
The car broke down (I don't know why) and so we sat at the side of the road in 10 degree weather. Fortunately we were about 20 miles from home, my lovely sis picked us up and we sat waiting for the tow truck in her warm car. She was happy to do it as P has rescued her before when her car was towed. We haven't heard about the car yet (it was towed to a garage where I've purchased many of my cars that I've owned for the last few years, I trust them and they were just a few miles the other way).
Did I tell you I was back to work? It's workshop days and so I need to pay attention and not fall asleep, yesterday not too bad but today is hard.
On the way back home, around 9pm we almost hit a deer. I'm accustom to driving at night in rural stretches but most deer should have already been bedded down for the night. Poor P, she screamed and I just laughed (I tend to laugh when I'm nervous/scared). It took me a few minutes to get the shakes from my adrenlin rush, but they came. It was really close and it seemed to stop in the road (deer in the headlights thing) as I was putting on my breaks, seemed just a few feet before it dashed off the road.
Saturday I had to work, P came with me and we had lunch/dinner with her son. Bravo Burritos, my favorite with leftovers for lunch today! Yippee!!
Nice cuddling on Saturday night before getting up early for the meditative service before the regularly scheduled one. I didn't expect we'd make it to this because it was at 9am (which means leaving the house by 8am which means getting up at 7am or earlier - this is not so easy for us). Enjoyed both services and my friend J took me up on the offer for church. I'm glad she came. We (P and I) had originally sat with empty seats on either side but when J showed up, they were full so we moved to accomodate us all.
Stopped by R's house to see the new paint before she left for Tacoma. Funny, Howlsthunder should be there too...weird to think of two people I *sorta* know in the same town because they wouldn't know each other from anyone else...and I suppose not really knowing Howlsthunder in RL would be weird if we ever saw eachother in rl.
After R left, P and I went back home. The boy had wanted to go bowling or rollerskating but he never got around to making it happen. I was both disappointed and glad. Glad because I was tired and disappointed because it would have been good for him to get out of the house. He usually ends up not doing anything, P often thinks it's because he would be embarassed to be seen in public with us. I ended up falling asleep which wasn't good because I always screw up my sleep schedule and I did due to that among other things.
This morning I'm working on few hours of sleep. UGH